{"id":31474,"date":"2026-08-19T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-08-18T20:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tab.co.nz\/punters\/?p=31474"},"modified":"2026-08-19T09:02:55","modified_gmt":"2026-08-18T21:02:55","slug":"from-the-couch-nrl-round-24","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tab.co.nz\/punters\/2026\/08\/from-the-couch-nrl-round-24\/","title":{"rendered":"From The Couch: NRL Round 24"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This is your weekly dose of NRL truth-telling, as tipster and rugby league raconteur Nick Tedeschi tears through the good, the bad and the indefensible, with absolutely no regard for bruised egos<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shambles Rankings<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Is your team in a shambles or are they a well-oiled machine? Here is the shambles rating for each club, what the first priority should be in de-shambalising and the next conceivable year that team can compete for a premiership or at the very least play finals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Julian O\u2019Neill Schossy\u2019s Shoe\/Dolphin Arson Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wests Tigers (2035) –<\/em> The club has not made finals since 2011, is on its seventh head coach since, spends money on mediocre players and forces out the one shining light the club had in Shane Richardson. The entire board needs to be removed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brisbane (2028) –<\/em> Karl Morris has presided mostly over a disaster interspersed with Grand Final appearances that were proven unsustainable. Astonishing the roster is in such poor shape but enough talent signed to turn it around. Need to sack the coaching staff immediately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Todd Carney Can\u2019t Get Out Of Their Own Way Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parramatta (2029) – <\/em>The Eels are a mess from top to bottom and continually make bad decisions. Their attempts at short-term solutions in the halves show how delusional the club is. Jason Ryles clearly isn\u2019t the answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adam O\u2019Brien Don\u2019t You Know Who I Am Arrogant Delusion Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Canterbury (2029) – <\/em>The Bulldogs, driven by Phil Gould, are the most arrogant and deluded team in the NRL. They think they are close. They are not. Arguably no team has recruited more inanely over the last few seasons, their rise up the ladder more a reflection of how bad the roster was. In the long-term the Bulldogs need to distance themselves from Gould while in the short-term Adam O\u2019Brien should be removed immediately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Steve Irwin Wasn\u2019t Driving But Got Rissoled For Mediocrity Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perth Bears (2035) –<\/em> Everything from hiring Mal Meninga as first head coach, bringing in an impostor as CEO who failed to win cap concessions, rolling out a mediocre jersey and allowing Meninga to live over a year away from Perth is the height of mediocrity. Need to move Mal on before Round 1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gold Coast (2030) – <\/em>Vastly improved under Josh Hannay but are such a forgettable side with such a mediocre roster that they are not close. Main priority needs to be extending Zane Harrison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

North Queensland (2026) –<\/em> The Cowboys should roll to the finals on the back of a soft draw but no team loses matches they should win more than North Queensland. Extending Todd Payten was laughable. Seems to be very little in the way of planning with their roster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mitchell Pearce Misunderstood Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

St George Illawarra (2027) –<\/em> Reached some low depths this year but realised where things went wrong, signed some very important pieces and will build around perhaps the best young pack in the game. Need to find a way to move on veterans Clint Gutherson and Valentine Holmes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Johnathan Thurston We Used To Be Shambles Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Manly (2028) –<\/em> Signing Kieran Foran has not proved to be the boon everyone thought but he has steadied the ship following the deserved sackings of Seibold and Mestrov. The Sea Eagles desperately need to overhaul their forwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Newcastle (2026) – <\/em>Justin Holbrook is the master at reforming shambolic clubs, turning Newcastle around in the space of 12 months from wooden spooners to certain finalists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Luke Brooks\u2019 BBQ Minor Shambles Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cronulla (2026) – <\/em>The Sharks have built the steadiest roster in the NRL, one that plays finals every year but never threatens to win it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

South Sydney (2026) –<\/em> The Rabbitohs have been crippled by injury at times this year and have little depth in their roster but have the top-end talent to win it all. They are inverse Cronulla.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dolphins (2026) –<\/em> The Dolphins have put together a roster to win now and they have done plenty of that but also can capitulate in the worst circumstance occasionally. They face a salary cap crunch to need to be all-in for 2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marty Taupau Non-Shambles Shambles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Canberra (2027) – <\/em>Slow away this year but are settled as long as Ricky and Don run the show. What they really need is some reliability in the three-quarter line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

New Zealand (2026) –<\/em> Cameron George and Andrew Webster have transformed the Warriors into a regular premiership contender that is set up for success over the next few years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sydney Roosters (2026) – <\/em>No team recruits bigger names with more panache or regularity and Trent Robinson creates a calmness that tends to keep the team on the straight and narrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Melbourne (2027) – <\/em>The most stable organisation in the NRL is facing a period of change but the fall from grace this year was about historic bad luck. Their main priority is finding a successor to Craig Bellamy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Penrith (2026) – <\/em>No team hums with more rhythm than Penrith from top to bottom. Re-signing Nathan Cleary has to be the top priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have We Not Learned From Alan Jones? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The NRL needs to put a stop to these entitled rugby clowns who supposedly coach the inferior so-called sport and then think that qualifies them to coach at the pinnacle of the great and glorious game of Rugby League. These charlatans are off their head if they think they can waltz into Rugby League with absolutely no experience, no understanding of the game and no concept of what it is like to succeed at elite sport and coach at the elite level. Some bloke called Scott Robertson was sounded out by the Southern Orcas, which should immediately render them out of the running for the 20th franchise. Eddie Jones has always expressed interest in the great and glorious game but can never bring himself to turn on union so has implored the NRL to put the 20th franchise in Japan. Michael Cheika – who in fairness is doing a stint as an assistant at the Roosters and has coached Lebanon in the international arena – is touted for every head coaching gig. The fact that the game has not appeared to learn from Balmain hiring Alan Jones 35 years ago after a stint leading some amateurs to some union wins is highly concerning. Jones was an unmitigated disaster. He took the job two years after Balmain had gone to back-to-back Grand Finals. His side had the likes of Tim Brasher, Ben Elias, Gary Freeman, Garry Jack, Steve Roach and Paul Sironen yet won 36.36% of games in a three-year run where they finished no higher than 10th, setting the club on the road to amalgamation as the Super League war hit. Don\u2019t flirt with union. Don\u2019t make eyes with union. Don\u2019t let union into the henhouse. Nothing good will happen. Just ask Balmain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Club\u2019s Most Improved Player<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The most improved player at all 17 clubs in 2026<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brisbane – Xavier Willison: <\/em>Established himself as a truly elite forward who will be paid like one very soon.
Canberra – Noah Martin: <\/em>Stunned the game when winning the starting edge role in Round 1 and has shone during an injury-impaired season.
Canterbury – Lachlan Galvin: <\/em>Cops a bum wrap in the media but he plays to his strengths and has improved his playmaking.
Cronulla – Braydon Trindall: <\/em>A quality playmaker, Trindall leads the NRL in try assists and has established himself as an elite playmaker.
Dolphins – Max Plath: <\/em>Has been on an upward trajectory since last season but Plath really is one of the best tackling and creative forwards in the NRL.
Gold Coast – Jojo Fifita: <\/em>Has gone from a fringe first grader to an established Origin player on the back of a much-improved running game.
Manly – Ben Trbojevic: <\/em>Often viewed as a throw-in to appease his brothers, he has become a quality edge, particularly running the ball inside the redzone.
Melbourne – Su\u2019a Fa\u2019alogo:<\/em> Stepped into Ryan Papenhuyzen\u2019s role with class and has become the most dangerous Storm weapon.
Newcastle – Trey Mooney: <\/em>Could barely get a run at the Raiders but established himself as an NRL-quality prop from Round 1.
New Zealand – Jackson Ford:<\/em> Led the Dally M Medal for a long-time with an amazing body of work, topping 200m four times and 45 tackles seven times in 13 full games.
North Queensland – Helium Luki: <\/em>Returned from an ACL in stunning form on both sides of the ball where he was desperately unlucky not to win a Queensland jersey.
Parramatta – Jack Williams: <\/em>Completely unfashionable veteran forward whose thirst for work has increased significantly in 2026.
Penrith – Tom Jenkins:<\/em> Was not even named in Round 1 and is chasing history with 28 tries in 21 games.
St George Illawarra – Hamish Stewart:<\/em> Young tackling machine who is now wreaking havoc on an edge without losing any of the workrate.
South Sydney – Matt Dufty: <\/em>On a NSW Cup deal after flaming out in the Super League, he is one of the form fullbacks of the competition.
Sydney Roosters – Hugo Savala:<\/em> Shown great versatility and humility in playing out of position all season for the good of the team.
Wests Tigers – Alex Twal: <\/em>Went from a one-dimensional tackling machine to developing an attacking game that has him ranked ninth in offloads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The New Martin Bella<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When the story of the 2026 Canterbury campaign is told, it will be headlined by the club\u2019s complete inability to catch kicks when the season was on the line. A week after three Bulldogs watched a bomb land that led to a Roosters win, Bailey Hayward dropped the second half kickoff that immediately led to a try in scenes reminiscent of Martin Bella in the 1994 Grand Final.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Bunker Is Laughable Yet Nobody Does Anything About It<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Be sure and certain that an utterly outrageous decision from The Bunker will decide a final. We are a month from the finals yet see some utterly incomprehensible decisions. Daly Cherry-Evans clearly knocks on yet play on. Stephen Crichton deliberately runs into a referee and Souths have a try taken away. On and on it goes. The jokers in The Bunker are so inept that they would struggle to find sand in a desert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Referee Gradings<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This week\u2019s gradings:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • Adam Gee (F)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Grant Atkins (C)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Ashley Klein (D-)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Gerard Sutton (C-)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Todd Smith (B-)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Wyatt Raymond (B)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Liam Kennedy (C+)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Peter Gough (D)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    The Willie M Team of the Week<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    This week\u2019s team of the effortless and the error-ridden:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. Keano Kini (GC)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. Jacob Kiraz (Bul)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    3. KL Iro (Cro)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    4. Reuben Garrick (Man)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    5. Josiah Karapani (Bri)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    6. Ezra Mam (Bri)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    7. Lachlan Illias (GC)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    8. Mo Fotuaika (GC)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    9. Bailey Hayward (Bul)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    10. Leo Thompson (Bul)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    11. Jaiyden Hunt (Bri)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    12. Corey Waddell (Man)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    13. Sione Fainu (Tig)
      \u2014————————————————–<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    14. Hohepa Puru (Cro)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    15. Billy Burns (Cro)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    16. Aublix Tawha (Bri)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    17. John Bateman (NQ)
      \u2014————————————————–
      Coach: Michael Maguire (Bri)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      The 2026 Field Goal Update – 18<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      Another weekend without a field goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Fun Fact #1<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      North Queensland have scored 30 points twice against Parramatta this season and lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Fun Fact #2<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      Jarome Luai has missed at least six tackles in each of his last three games.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Fun Fact #3<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      No player named Elvis has ever played in the NRL.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Rumour Mill<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      Don\u2019t be surprised if this is Craig Bellamy\u2019s final season at the helm of the Melbourne Storm with Billy Slater being groomed to take the helm despite denials from all parties. Slater\u2019s departure from Queensland all but confirms this. Shane Flanagan is favoured to win the vacant St Helens coaching gig. Murray Taulagi is set to depart the NRL for French rugby union.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The Coaching Crosshairs<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      The Brisbane Broncos have absolutely no choice but to move on from Michael Maguire and should do so immediately. Not only does Maguire need to go but his staff need to be taken with him led by Trent Barrett. The disgrace of a display on Saturday night against the Warriors that really could have been a lot worse on the scoreboard was marked by a complete lack of care from the players. The simple fact is that players do not want to play for Maguire. He did his job in bringing the Broncos a premiership. Now it is time to move on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Moronic Coaching Decision of the Week: Young Warrior behemoth Ivana Lauitiiti is one of the most exciting young forwards in the NRLW yet got dropped to the reserve role by coach Ron Griffiths. The Tigers went on to shock the Warriors. Griffiths needs to have a long hard look at himself in the mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Watch It<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      This brief history of Rugby League on the Gold Coast leading up to the formation of the Titans is stunning. No money. Four brand changes. Jeff Mueller. A captain-coach. Watch it below. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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